Playing Hard To Get

I just realised something, when having a break from watching skins, and going down to prepare some stuff for tonight's dinner. It also brought back a point, which I chanced upon last Sunday, talking to my grandmother, mom, aunty and aunty's friend. It was practically a feminist meeting: One who was widowed, never had a chance for divorce and so put up lovingly with the one man she ever knew for the rest of his life and took it all in with so many kids in tow, the others all divorcees who knew the intricacies or rather, didn't know the intricacies of man, until too late, and me, one who was to embark upon a journey. The journey, of say, an ultimatum, of either singledom, or a life of (currently) uncertainty and doubt.

The conversation went on to discuss how one could now pay 15K and get the ashes of a loved one, compacted, through a complicated scientific process and thereby produce a diamond where one can wear that person's ashes around one's neck, in remembrance. Gram found it morbid, the others found it unnecessary expense. And then, Gram said, well, if they can make diamonds this way, then why weren't people making diamonds this way to sell? Since diamonds are the result of intense pressure acting upon the molecules of carbon. Interesting fact, which by the way, we had to explain extremely patiently to a woman who loves diamonds. :)

Hold on.. the point of the story is coming, it's just my way of telling a story. Hehe. Long winded, I know, but I'm building the environment from which I draw my inspirations and revelations from, so let's not linger on by me explaining this part of me...

And then, just know, I for the first time, peeled petai. :) Yes, the veritable stinkbean. It's the first time, I've ever encountered the stinkbean in all its pod and glory, because, incidentally, I've never really liked it much until about a year ago, where in a mamak, tucked away in a quiet area in Subang, I ate the Nasi Goreng Petai, fried rice with the bean, and fell in love. Hence passed a phase, where everything I ordered was with it. It was Maggi Goreng with it, Naan with it, beef fried in tumeric with it. Any possible combination, I would want petai in it. So anyways, this is my first attempt at cooking it and also my first attempt at cooking my Gram's famous sambal petai, which, I always avoided the beans and just savoured the sambal. Don't ask me why, I was ignorant at that time. :)

So yes, I was peeling it, the outer green pods, more like an enlarged pea pod, made me think of peas. You know, where u peel it, it has that little see through white sack, and you kinda shell it, by popping it and the little green pea flies out. So, easy peasy (pun intended) I tried. So much for that and its relations to peas. It's more like the ginkgo nut. Where you have to crack the shell, peel off its crappy scaly dry skin and then gouge out the bud with a needle. Except, there's no gouging. But the peeling is.... omg... it's so time consuming. Hence, why I now see why they charge so much for peeled petai. Of course, it doesn't have the famed medicinal value of improving memory and whatnot, but it is also claimed to be a blood cleanser, somewhat like the Neem leaf, in Indian Ayurvedic traditional medicine and of course, it stinks up your pee for the next several gos. Pity on those who access the loo after you.

So, I stray. But yes. Then it got me thinking, about the whole scenario, you know. Word association in my mind:

Stink bean = Durian = Inaccessible = Lovely = Coveted = Diamonds = Hard to get = Value

So, then it got me thinking.. that's it! That's the answer I've been looking for.

Kind of, one of the small mysteries of life solved...

People never want what they can get. Or rather, they wouldn't appreciate or value something they can get easily. Hear me out. I know, it's so typical.

But, yes. See in relationships, we always want what we can't get. Imagine, if we could have diamonds all day, it wouldn't be as precious. So, therefore, you should always play hard to get. My advice to my daughters: Play hard to get, not easy, but not TOO hard to get.

So I reflected on my life, and of course, the whole skins episodes came into play, where this guy, Sid, loves his best mate's girlfriend Michelle, but he can't get her. And there's this girl Cassie, who's just throwing herself at him, despite his obvious nerdiness, and he just doesn't see it, whereas, he's going around, talking to every conscious and unconscious girl, trying to get a shag, whereas, Cassie is just there, waiting for him. So yes, that's it. I shall no longer entertain those who play hard to get, and I myself, will climb onto that highest tree and stay there.

Don't get me wrong here. I'm not playing that game. I want to be not gotten at all. Some say it is momentary. I think..I've had my fair share of life. Let me take a rest from it all, and fade away for a bit. Who knows? I might just enjoy it and forever be exiled, happy and not vulnerable. Hm. That's a thought.

Well.. Cheerio! Off to my shameless video-haggling.