I can't even begin to say how I feel

Every time you walk out that door
The pain hits me thousandfold
Like I did it to you so many times before
Can I be honest and say I'm sorry
I really am, and I miss you terribly


We both find ways to hurt each other
A vicious cycle, over and over
And all at once, there's this sad love emotion
That's just fading away, day by day


Messages get shorter
The silences get longer
Light up another
Open a bottle


I want to go back to that night
When we watched The Brothers Bloom
I saw you at the sink, bathed in yellow light
And at that time, I just knew
It was you, will be you, wish it's you
Can't it be you?


This isn't my drama of insecurity
Unless it speeds up your healing
It's just me being honest
Trying to tell you how I'm feeling


Words can never express how sorry I am
How bad I feel, and how I deserve this
How you don't deserve me
Too many heartbreaks and tears

I've so many unsaid words, that I cried out once you walked out the door
So many text messages, I wrote, rewrote, saved and didn't send at all


I deserve this. I know. I know it so well now.
It just kills me inside, that's all.


I'm speechless. With too much to say, too much to feel, that my thoughts are all over the place. No one knows this, no one bothered, no one is here. I deserve this......