Yup. He's gone.

Every time I start up my lappie, I see a brown love fast asleep, blissfully innocent and adorable with all the promise shining from her lovely coat and colours.


And every time, this phrase from IanPenguin starts, "You had everything. A beautiful house, Tinky and me, and you threw it all away."


I wanted so badly to text and tell him, how badly I miss them. How badly I miss trying to cuddle with him, with Tinky trying so hard to cuddle in between us, making her snorting sounds now and then.


I believe, she doesn't miss me. She's just caught up with having people around, and I'm just down the road, in an empty house, staring at her static picture.


I believe, he doesn't miss me. Even our first photograph together has probably been obliterated into mush already, floating somewhere out there in the universe of garbage.


It took a lot out of me to say, "I'll see you in a year's time. If you've moved on, I understand."


It's surprising what silence can say.


It's telling me, that it's already gone.

I really don't know what to do.


I'm in shock. Well deserved, major padan muka consequences of my stupid, stupid actions.


I can never do anything to have that cuddly moment where time stood still, and all we had was the beautiful warmth and togetherness of us, ever again.