Happy Un-Birthday

My birthday passed in a whirl of excitement and events, full of family and drinks. But it wasn't for me. It was for IanPenguin's cousin, who got married to a lovely man, DrVicSmiles. It was a lovely event, lovely people and seeing the proud parents of the newly wedded couple brought tons of tears to my eyes.

Uncle Mano, father of the bride, is at worst, a man of few words but many generous gestures. He would always give the presumptory pat on the back and a smile. That night, giving his daughter away, he gave a speech, the words barely conveying the emotion he had for her and her husband. It touched a nerve (the one that activates my tear glands, apparently) as to how he saved all those words, from when she was a precocious little girl, through her rebel days and right up until today, when, visually and socially speaking, she became a young lady. Then the thought of what my father would say, even if he did show up on my wedding night, came to naught. I don't think he knows me well enough to say anything. This made my other nerve (the floodgates to the dams-nerve) start up.

Well, it will rightly be my mom's speech, and I did think, if there was going to be anyone else in my family speaking. Knowing mom, she'd be crying her way through the speech (like mother like daughter) but I know, she has her way with words as well.

This brings me to my birthday day. Hmmm... exception of Evelayn, lovely enough to take me out for tapas and pasta in Michelangelo's, Solaris, nothing else was said or done. Yeah, the night before that, IanPenguin's dad was in a real party mood and we all had a mini get together back at the house (more like a everyone's back in Subang, tired, but let's just give our last ounce of energy), which I do understand, that everyone, including myself, felt really really exhausted. I'm not blaming anyone for not doing anything, but it just makes me wonder.

Am I just getting to that point where birthday songs sound a little overplayed, strained in melody and a little frayed at the edges? (Mini-boohoo: I didn't even have a cake. No extra wishes for me then....) Or, am I just feeling a little wall-flowerish and not special anymore?

It's a given, I have a loving mother and grandmother, and IanPenguin's family is more than family already, and I am blessed with tons of good friends and have had the privilege of knowing so many wonderful, talented and diverse people, but....

I've been wondering, really, if life were to turn out like this, a sparkling wedding dinner, where a speechless, awkward father has no idea what to say, introducing who he (if he even does) is giving me away to at church, empty birthday afternoons with no cake, no candles and no friends.

Hmmmmm..... *my birthday tear*