It's been so long, Malaysia

Dear Friends,

It's been so long since that triumphant moment, once held in a large area, where people congregated, without fear of ISA or being held trial for being conspiratorial, where races did not matter, and all that counted was that loud call out for Independence.

Can we go back to those times?

Times, where race did not matter, instead, manners and health were priority.

Times where I did not even bother about who they were and whether they would talk to me if they knew I ate pork. I was more bothered about learning Arabic from all my friends, and learning how to write my name in Jawi.

I'm not saying that it is all specifically targeted towards the Muslim community. I am just saying that, nowadays, there is too much speculation on the differences between races and how we should overlook these differences. Shouldn't we (my two cents) just focus on the fact, that as Malaysians, we possess such variety and unique identity as a country, that instead of fighting with ourselves, we should look more on how we, as 1Malaysia, can face the world with what we have to offer?

My experiences, as a child, and even now, have made me believe that, there is so much potential in all our social responsibilities and roles, that it does not even matter what language we speak nor how we dress or behave, in how we interact with one another.

Come on Malaysians, do we even need to spell this out in heavily funded advertisements and campaigns?

Look into your hearts and your memories, and see...

When the last time someone helped you, irregardless of race and beliefs.
How we greatly welcome each and every public holiday with vigour, with the realisation that it only came to, because of the importance of each community in our country.
That, at any time of day, we can eat whatever and wherever we want, because of the fact that we possess such choice due to the wonderful possibilities our country has.
Our workmates, schoolmates, college mates and any day friends, whom we listen to, talk to, argue with and discuss anything under the sun with, are not limited to only the people of one race or one background or ethnicity.

1Malaysia does not highlight the fact that we should strive to be ONE. In fact, it just shows that we are already ONE.

The fact that we are already residing in ONE country, together for so long, that we should not forget where we came from and how we came about.

I readily accept all my friends and their beliefs and mannerisms, with the fact that, we all grew up in the same backgrounds and same societies. Where else can you get this?

Let us stand up, proud, as Malaysians. Malaysians first, ethnicity second, religion last.

Because, who we are and what we will become, are results of who we were and what we were. Merdeka, means so much more in unity than standing alone.

Happy Merdeka Malaysians.

beautycutskindeep

At this point of life, I wonder. When does the degeneration start?
When will I oneday look back and see how my life, my mind, my body and my health has changed beyond reverse?

It's happening. The years are coming. And they're coming faster and faster.

This is my only chronicle to document my life. Somewhat.

I wonder... like the sand after the waves, my footsteps washed away.

Like we never even existed.

Is this in fast forward now?

Fatty Fatty Bom Bom

This fatty needs to be reprimanded for shameless Ben&Jerry-eating sessions.

Moments:

1. I feel so frustrated when it's fresh out of the freezer, and it's too hard to grab a decent spoonful. And next thing you know, I'm scraping the bottom. OOHHH NOOO!

2. It's not my fault really, this pigging out on lavly lavly combos. It's just that reading too many scholarly journals inexplicably makes me reach out for another pint.

3. My Ben & Jerry's shrine at home is growing.

4. Seeing friends on vacays in bikinis, and me in a sarong, with a pint and a large spoon is NOT really motivating. Back to Ben&J's.

5. I use small spoons to make me eat less and slower but end up staring the ice cream in the face until I hit a cardboardy sound.

YEEKS. I AM FAT.

Object

No matter how much I say, how deep I say it, you are always silent.

This is you, object of Gap.

Sing Me A Song, For A Penny's-worth of My Thoughts

Won't you sing me a song?
Just to tell me that I am endearing and lovely
In all of my moods, moments and musings...

All I want is to hear your voice
Assure me every once in awhile
To know, that I'm still out there
Drifting, not lost to the oceans
Not beyond all human contact

"You look beautiful all the time... Shine shine shine shine on..." - The Kooks, Shine On

But to face an empty screen
Just a mere smoke signal away
I sit here, wonder and waste away
Wander in my thoughts
Wrestle with my memories

And then....
Slowly.........

The jaded fairy glow of a dawn whispers...

Helloooooo

Hellooo out there.. who are thee? This mysterious visitor ghosts viewing my pages.. I am curious. And curiousity killed the cat. And the cat has yet another 8 lives. So yes......

I am curious, as to whom may be wandering around in my head and thoughts and not soddying any pants while they're at it.... Hmmm... alcohol speaking brain not thinking.

Well. Here's a sobering thought for the both of us. Not gonna have any posts til much later today in the day. Me has to get me sleeps... if not, me is Crankus Ultimatus. :D

In the words of one... TA!

Oh Boo Hoo

Went out for a girls' night with AthleteShinYee, Evelayn, PammyPoo and PinkyPoo at Tao by Modesto's and it was great! They had Ladies Night promo, with 2 free Bellini's and had Tequila and Vodka shot promos for RM5 and RM8 respectively. But other than that, it was great to catch up with everyone and finally see their bayang-bayang in real life after so loooooong.

After that, came back, after an hour long heart to heart with Evelayn, and came to find a mini party with Anushhka, Ramesh and VishalTengapoo at home, jamming and layaning kau kau the music as well as 2 bottles of fine Scottish whiskey. Who was I to refuse? *shrugs*

But, now, I realise, I am old...... after all that beer, Bellinis and tequila shots, adding whiskey to the mix is like a big.. WHOA NO. It's the whiskey. It ain't me. Teehee.

So yeah, had a great night, and now the boys are nicely snoring away.. and I shall delicately shimmy upstairs to a soft, comfortable albeit uno-solo bed... And get ready to face the day ahead, which, it seems, already started like...... 2 hours ago. :(

OK... cheers. Here's me signing in and signing out.

Nighto lovebirds, and Morning to yous love-worms.

cheerios. ;)

Mirror, Mirror....

Today, I looked into the mirror.

And finally saw myself.

Myself, in all my moods, my phases, my moments, my iniquities and my thoughts.

And... it wasn't a very comforting sight.

I guess, it's like those flashbacks you have, moments before your soul leaves your earthly shell.

I think.... in those flashbacks, we should be happy with what we see.

No regrets, no pain, no hurt.

Just peace. And love.


I'll try my best, from today onwards, to live like I'll have the best flashbacks when my time comes.

Oops.. Rutabugga...

The irreparable damage that an affair does to a relationship, can never be forgotten by either party, despite how much they love each other and want to work it out.

The uncontrollable bits of bitterness and anger tend to seep out through the cracks that get more obvious by the day.. Little barbs of cynicism and hurt like flying darts in an otherwise silent relationship.

So what else can such a relationship do? Where else can it go? But to the gutter.

Speechless - the very rare occasions of my life

I am speechless, really I am. This whole thing I had in mind for my thesis, is now falling apart before my eyes.

I'm not contesting what my advisors are saying, it's just that... I am really really lost right now. I am actually stumped. I may not end up with a solution to problem.. I think I'm just going to end up a mere reporter of a situation chockful of facts that already have been proven.

*groan* fml.

What now.... what now?

On The Road Back To Black...

More like Brown rather than black, but it sounds better as a title, ya think?

Yes, about 3 weeks back, I went from blonde to pink to brown. And now, it's fading... I'm just tired of pumping in more colour into my hair... although, I must, in order to maintain the distinction between artsy and ah-lian.

What have my days been up to? I don't really know... they seem to forge a life of their own, and carry on without me. I woke to find, that I had been left behind. My days went on without me as I skipped along the dotted side lines.

So, dreary outlooks for this month... a lot of things that I wanted to do, seem to be very far off and almost impossible. I'm seeing a different side of all the things I used to hold dear.. No more 'La vie en rose'... more of 'la vie en noir'...

I guess it's the growing up and settling down. Sounds so oxymoronical, but, deep down inside me, I refuse. I REFUSE. I refuse to do so. Some people don't understand, and they shake their heads and wag their tongues. Just because I don't want to grow up doesn't mean I'm want to be childish. I want to remain child-like - there's a difference. Just because I refuse to settle down doesn't mean I am not grounded and mature. I just don't want to get boring and mundane.

Life is out there for the taking! If only you would understand. It's not always about the bills and the dust and the cleaning up and the chores. There's more to life than just the roof above our heads. Why do you think conversation has come to an absolute standstill? Because there is nothing to say. You want me to come home straight away. And so I do. Therefore, only facing the possible activities available in the house, which, you mostly spend your time doing as well.

Maybe, soon, I'll get wobbly knees and a Michael-Jackson-concert-fervour the next time we get a new Hoover or a set of new curtains.

Birthday's coming up... I should put those candles to good use. *wish*