This is how I heal.... I guess...

Recently, two quotes have been said to me, from two good friends, who, I believe, can't stomach seeing me sad....


1. Evelayn: "Believe that God puts people in your life for a reason, and removes them from your life for a better reason."


2. Shan-Ti: "When love is lost, do not bow your head in sadness; instead keep your head up high and gaze into heaven for that is where your broken heart has been sent to heal."

Those words are comforting, yet it comes with a history of broken hearts, broken bonds that can't be repaired, mistakes that can't be fixed, people you will never be with again....

Anyways, as I was doing a little gardening (my soul searching happens most during these times nowadays), it came to me, that I no longer need to drink to fall asleep.

"Wise" words (trying) coming along now...

Being able to fall asleep comes from a clear conscience (which I previously did not have, my whole life).
A clear conscience comes from truly knowing that you can never change what people think and how they act. It also comes from you reconciling that fact with the decision to make life of the people who matter and those around you, much better, by seeing the best in them and the best in everything that happens, and communicating that to them.


Just a thought, which I would love to start...

I'd imagine myself, sending an email to the people who matter most to me, asking them, what they'd say at my funeral, and also, what I'd say at theirs (not wishing them sueyness, but just thinking of them as a person, and how I remember them) because, I think, if we'd act like that everyday, we'd appreciate each other more. And, of course, it's so sad, that we never get to hear those things said at our funeral, which, I think, would have made a lot of difference when said when we're still alive.

Hah. Starting a Chain Letter: Your Epitaph by Me.

Oh well, just a thought. Be great if someone out there picks it up.

Well, words of wisdom aren't so wise yet, it does not encompass all and promise to solve all problems in one paragraph, but, I'm learning and healing at the same time.

Walk with me, will you?

Matters of the Heart

A draft of the thoughts that entered my mind....lame. I know.


Tis a terrible thing,
She called Love
A potent potion
Made from Hell and above


Twas at once he was
and at the same time he was not
That the Heart sprung up in life
at at once, suffered and died


-----------------------------------------------------


I am perhaps, too complex a creature, to be loved fully, wholly and dearly. I am only to be seen, heard, kissed, hugged, kept at a distance and then discarded. Oh no, it is not as what you may think, dear reader, but, just a moment of weakness in an attempt to "be happy". 


Be happy I shall, but not at the expense of the misery of others.


So, it really is time. To stand up. Buck up. Toughen up.


And disappear.............

Oh Boo Hoo

Went out for a girls' night with AthleteShinYee, Evelayn, PammyPoo and PinkyPoo at Tao by Modesto's and it was great! They had Ladies Night promo, with 2 free Bellini's and had Tequila and Vodka shot promos for RM5 and RM8 respectively. But other than that, it was great to catch up with everyone and finally see their bayang-bayang in real life after so loooooong.

After that, came back, after an hour long heart to heart with Evelayn, and came to find a mini party with Anushhka, Ramesh and VishalTengapoo at home, jamming and layaning kau kau the music as well as 2 bottles of fine Scottish whiskey. Who was I to refuse? *shrugs*

But, now, I realise, I am old...... after all that beer, Bellinis and tequila shots, adding whiskey to the mix is like a big.. WHOA NO. It's the whiskey. It ain't me. Teehee.

So yeah, had a great night, and now the boys are nicely snoring away.. and I shall delicately shimmy upstairs to a soft, comfortable albeit uno-solo bed... And get ready to face the day ahead, which, it seems, already started like...... 2 hours ago. :(

OK... cheers. Here's me signing in and signing out.

Nighto lovebirds, and Morning to yous love-worms.

cheerios. ;)

Boredom & Booze

I've been so engrossed in Facebook and its myriads of applications that you can't see until you advertise it to your friends, that I've not been blogging. There's so much to write actually... but *gasp* I've actually been putting it off, by spending so much time on FB. It's so addictive!! Got chat some more.... lagi lah..... well, so, just a fast one before I konk..


Technically speaking, I have been drinking every day since I got back from Singapore. Which is sooooooo gooooooooooooooood. *grin*

Today, I woke up with a great sense of loneliness. IanPenguin had gone off to work as usual (I don't know how he survives) and I was damn hungry. Like, I could eat a pregnant hippopotamus one shot-hungry.

Emo-ing, I was talking to EdmondYabah, who incidentally, was emo-ing as well, about work. First day at work, and he wants to challenge the manager to a grilling competition. o_0
Don't ask me, ask the hot-headed, Sabahan chef.

Finally, I kinda got the hint through to him that I was hungry AND lonely for dinner, and so, we rallied up everyone and met up at Asia Cafe. Damn long since I've been there!! And the Jumbo Juice went from RM5 to RM5.50. Motherrr......

Had OChien, which didn't have enough chilli and that pisses me off big time, and Korean Pork Chop which I only ate half, and I got 3 measly french fries, a scoop of coleslaw and a big chunk of fried rice. I only ate the porkies and the coleslaw. Left the rest. Ish. Now, I'm hungry again.

After dinner and a large Heiney, went to play a few games of pool upstairs. Noone to gawk or gossip about, so boring... Then PhilThePill comes up to me and says, "Eh, I wanna drink la..."

Immediately, my eyes *light up*

"Come over la. I've got a bottle of wine. And some more whisky." ^.^

So anyways, just now, PhilThePill and JackJiek came over, and we started talking about molecular gastronomy/nutrition (macam la big time konon) while munching on Twisties and chunks of Cheddar. They left about 4am after all the typical BS booze brings along....

I came upstairs, had a nice bath, checked Facebook and now, I'm just waiting for Ian to come back.

Thing is, I'm hungry again!!
And super gian-ing the Roti Bakar Telur Mata Kerbau from Makbul. DAYMMIT!!!

Girl's Night Out...

AAHH.... finally, after I think about one year, I met up with YzmaLyn and RexStitch and ETEeMun. I picked the sisters up and we went to Midvalley for dinner.
Chili's had a 45 minute wait, so we decided to go to Finnegan's where we made the staff wait for about 45 minutes. -_-

But, it was a great disappointment... the Pork Snackers had scraggly bits of bacon, the sausages were too dry and the mustard was mixed with wasabi powder! (wtf) I had an Old Speckled Hen, which is absolutely not my thing. Gimme a Guinness or a Paulaner anytime!

After the sleazy waiter finally made us all pissed, by charging us for extra bacon and sausages (on the pretense that, "IT WAS THE LAST PORTION") extra RM24 for baby's shit-pieces of bacon and dry sausage??? NUH-UH. He didn't bother informing us and we did not request for it. So he pulak got pissed and made us feel bad, "Fine, I'll pay for it myself." When everyone kept quiet, I thought, Hey, do something before it gets harder. So muka tebal la, I said, "So how much is our actual bill??" Man... I felt... liberated. Then we left for Eelyn's place, me and Rex shared two bottles of wine, while we all played Pictionary/Charades.

It is damn fun! We kept bringing up the old stories of how many stupid answers we gave, and of course, the stupid actions we did to act out those words. HAHAH... good times, good laughs...

Man, I wish Rex had taken more photos... OOH. Met her new squeeze.. looks like a nice guy! :) Hope things go well.. :) And Congrats Rex, for Daddy Tan's been active... She's getting a new baby sister!! In addition to her cockerspaniel and doberman. Hmmm... /:o

Then, I was super tired and high... Eemun asked me to stay over, but I desperately wanted to go back and sleep naked. Manatau, IanPenguin had to freak out and called everyone umpteen times. I was, by then, already fast asleep, nicely bathed, smelling nice and in Dreamland.

Ian, CHILL. You Drama Queen!!

OH which, by the way, Padan Muka, the fact that you were spied on while bathing at work, by your bapuk admirer. Lol. And in Midvalley, we spotted the feminine-guy who kept flirting with Ian back in my college smoking zone.

He seems to attract them. I wonder why............

Haha... I'm finally posting up something here as opposed to F*****ster (http://marlborobiatch.blogs.friendster.com/daily_fix/), just testing the waters here...

Well, today was a good day.. I sent IanPenguin off to work, since both of us had morning shifts. He took the 6am bus, we reached at 5.45am and I subsequently left for college. Got great parking, switched on the lavly aircon and slept til 6.45am. Kena called on the phone by EdmondYabah (if not, I think I'd miss class at 7am). Was really tired, the whole PowerChef thing really took a toll on all of us.

So all the blackcircle-eyed people gathered in the kitchen, still blur and some still asleep. Then, Chef Darren came in and we thought, OKAY, let's cook!! It's been 4 months since we cooked anything, so everyone's really looking forward to this semester. Suddenly he said, "Okay guys, I want this whole kitchen clean, bright, washed down and shining spotless in an hour."

AT 7 O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING?? Nevertheless, Group A, CULA1 did it. YES - and we did it under the required time. Then he came back, nodded and sent us off for cigarettes. :D

Came back, and for our subject today, International Cooking I, we were looking at Thai cuisine. So we made Green Curry, Water Chestnut & Prawn Salad (Yam Krachup), Steamed Fish (Pla something) and Thai Fried Rice (Kao Phad). My Thai is coming slowly to me...

We cleaned up, sent back excess ingredients to the store then settled down to eat.

While we were all standing around the main table, this great feeling of doom hit me.

I called EdmondYabah.

Eh, I'm sorry to say this but....
What is it?
Well... I feel like shite. I badly need to drink.
(Ed's face lights up) OKAY! Let's go.
OK!! Your place ya? Fast one...
No prob. Giant selling big bottle at RM10.79. Each one la, just to relax..
OK! Aaron? Yang? Phil? Steven? Fatt? Howard?

Aaron: Err... OKlah. (but ended up going home) -_-
Yang: ON la!!
Phil: (for once) huh? don't wantla..... (then kena sound, so he agreed)
Steven: (we decided for him - YES)
Fatt: Can't la.. I'm broke. Next time ok?

Howard: What time la?
Me: After class la.
Howard: (looks at watch) ....WHAT???!!!! At 11am???!!
Edmond: Just give us booze, anytime, anywhere.
Howard: Aiyah. I have training la. At night la. I'll definitely come.
Me: OK. But we're still going. Booze is always top priority.

So we bought a bottle each, except for EvenStevens (who had 2 tins, which one of, me, PhilthePill and EdmondYabah shared). EdmondYabah and I drove to Giant Atria to buy, and when we reached his house, PhilthePill, EvenStevens and YangYang were all asleep in YangYang's Avanza. Mahai.

BUT! It was for the best la.

We decided to drink in the Avanza, which will now be affectionately known as the Mobile Club.

PhilthePill was reluctant to drink, but after the first sip, a BIG SMILE broke out on his face. Kudikaran will always be kudikaran.

Point of this all, we had tons of fun, the aircon blasting, music pumping (with PhilthePill deejaying and giving shoutouts to the crowds). At 12.30noon, MobileClub closed, with a last call-slow song (like in a real club la konon LOL) and we all left, some relaxed, some red, some high, some sleepy. HAHAH.

Video below:
A Beautiful Start To A New Semester (and A New Club)