Tuesday Tea Tarik Time!

We live each week, dreading Monday, looking forward to Friday and then enjoying Saturday and Sunday.

Stop.

REC.

Rewind.

Repeat.

* * * * *

Aah, today's blog shall be, I decree, all

Centralised.

I feel out of center, and so, I'd like to balance that.

I felt quite depressed lately. I do not know why, but the feeling suddenly

came upon me.

I question why. And then I think back.

Something must've triggered it. But what?

The fact that I remain stuck?

In this somewhat unreal reality of living life in college,

when other friends are already well established in their jobs...

Stuck in a position I neither hate nor love.

Stuck in a no-go situation.

backwardforward backwardforward

drawkcab-forward

Is this the life?

I get hit by this question everytime I log in to blog in.

My mind wants to unravel at a mere mention of a tumulteous word.

Which none has yet to utter.

Why O Why this lyrical waterfall?

I have no answers. Today shall be:

"Centralised Question Day"

+ the occasional statement or two. :)

* * * * *

I sit, here, Kona-fied with the ultimate Hawaiian coffee.

A mix of chocolate, aircon and mildly-milked coffee.

Alone. Waiting.

For something to happen.

Like, something in my mind, perhaps.

Yes!

Found it.

First thought:

I still can't get over the fact of that particular Crowe.

That friendship.

Anyways, last night, I didn't sleep a wink!

My mind was roving, with thoughts, fantasies,

dreams, wishes and plans (for today).

And so, I'd like to post something, in memory of a friendship that could've been so great if it had continued.

Conversation few months past:

Me: How do you say, Wild Mushroom, in French?

Crowe: Hmmm... Why?

Me: Tell me first. And I'll tell you why.

Crowe: I'm not sure, but I think it's "Champignon Forestiere"

Me: *LOL*

Crowe: Why?

Me: Well, I just saw a menu, and it was stated there,

"Champignon Sauvage Soupe"

And Mr. Gerhard went, "This is why my French and German is getting so bad.

*laughs*

Imagine that!

The Savage Mushroom Soup!

* * *

whereby me and Mr. Crowe spent the next few minutes trying to

smother our wild, uncontrollable fits of laughter,

while a 'soft' German guy was blushing due to

his attempts to speak Bahasa Malaysia from the podium.

=====================================================

And I thought, he was the only one who'd ever get stuff like that.

And, we had tons of fun in Singapore. *sigh*

Talking about Adam Duritz and Billy Corgan's writing.

Their depressedness and how it just speaks volumes

about our own lives.

Really, I can't get over it.

This is my major setback for 2010.

And I do wonder, if he'd ever see this.

If I should mail him, and tell him all the things running through my mind.

"You're a fighter! The last one I'd see knuckling down to that bastard."

"He walked away, saying he was fed up. But, it was with me.
What about staying for the other 2 in the team?

I'm not the majority. You say it's about teamwork.

So, just because you were fed up with me, you abandoned the entire team?

But YOU. You stayed.
And I thank you for that.

You found something inside you, that put aside all differences and bias

for those few hours and helped us through it."

I probably will never be able to say those words to Mr. Crowe.

I wish oneday, I will put aside my fears and insecurities

and just say my thanks to an ex-friend.

I hope it's never too late.

Too late to say my thank yous.

Too late to find out what went wrong.

Why did all the great memories just fly away,

because of one insignificant week?

The hours spent, talking, teaching, learning, laughing,

teasing, singing and sparring.

I feel really sad.

And equally indignant.

I thought Mr. Crowe had better judgment.

I thought he'd be above all this.

That he'd emerge as the better man.

But, as life would have it,

all things come to an end.

I bid you farewell

my once dear Crowe.